


Robotic Body Turtle Heart

by MysticRobin



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Booyakasha, Brotherly Love, Clueless Mira, Donnie is a robot, Insensitive Raph, Leo understands, Mentions of Death, Mikey is a sweetheart, Mutant Apocalypse, Oasis, Robot losing Humanity, Robots have real feelings, Sad Donnie, questioning humanity, supportive brothers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:40:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27475915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticRobin/pseuds/MysticRobin
Summary: After Raphael: Mutant Apocalypse the turtles and their friend Mira settle at the Oasis. But Donnie misses having a turtle body now he's all metal and gears. He misses being flesh and blood. Donnie is trying to learn what it means to have humanity while in an inhuman body. Will Donnie learn to accept himself no matter what form he takes?
Relationships: Donatello & Leonardo & Michelangelo & Raphael (TMNT), Donatello & Leonardo (TMNT), Donatello & Michelangelo (TMNT), Donatello & Raphael (TMNT)
Kudos: 10





	1. Paradise with Problems

"Booyacowbungala”Mikey yelled as he swan dove into the lake. Turtles were born to fly he thought as he continued to cut through the air like a bird. Turtles were also born to swim he thought as he splashed into the water below. For the first time in ages, he felt free and happy and he had his family back which was super awesome.

“Look at all that green”Mira pointed out as the stone ruin overlooked Oasis, she saw the tops of what the turtles called trees. She never knew what the world was like before, full of life and tranquility. She only remembered desert and death, now she found the mythical Oasis as her people had promised her, she was here at last. She was safe and she was happy.

“It really is an Oasis” Donnie said with a tone of content in his voice. They had found the mythical Oasis, a remnant of what Earth was before. Now it was coming back, for years Earth had been a desert apocalyptic wasteland. They had found sanctuary, clean water, and acres of forest. There was so much green, plants and trees full of life. Now he was standing atop a stone ruin with his brothers and their meerkat friend Mira.

“Not bad”Raph remarked with a slight smile on his face. His memories were coming back to home and now he had his entire family back to support him. He didn’t have to worry about desert wasteland survival anymore.

“Family, we’re home”Leo announced with a feeling of joy that he hadn’t felt in a long time. His brothers pulled him out of his angry and destructive state. They had found him and reminded him that he was Leonardo. Leo couldn’t wait to put his time as Maximus Kong behind him. 

“We are home”Raph agreed as they stood atop the stone ruin and watched their youngest brother humming cheerfully as he backstroked. Finally, no more desert wasteland, it was just paradise. Maybe now they could all rest and heal and make up for lost time.

All of them had settled in the Oasis, making it their home and marveled at the natural wonder. Donnie’s metal feet stood on real living grass and he was surrounded by real trees. The sensation of being able to feel the grass beneath his feet was amazing. It felt unreal as he slowly moved his mechanical leg to feel the cold tingling squishy mud below his feet and the dewy blades of grass. He almost cried with joy over being able to feel. Of course it could be the sensors he built into Metalhead’s hardware and the sensory code he put into Metalhead’s software but he hoped it was more than that. He missed being flesh and blood, he missed being a mutant. He’d look at his robot body and sigh in defeat. Feeling overwhelming pain and sadness at the loss of his humanity or more accurately ‘turtlemanity’. Donnie was leaning against a tree at the edge of the lake, sparkling when sunlight hits the water. He secretly liked to call it the twinkling lake of starry water. He desperately wanted to dip his feet in the water, longing for the cold soothing sensation of water washing over his feet. He was gears and wires now, if he touched water he would short-circuit. He stared forlornly at his reflection in the clear blue water. What was he? He wasn't a turtle, he was a monstrosity, a technological monstrosity. When the mutagen bomb went off he remembered Leo standing there with tears in his ears choking and sobbing as he said I love you and was caught in the blast. Donnie remembered being thrown back as New York burned around him. He remembered being in intense excruciating pain and seeing that his broken body was beyond repair. He had no choice but to transfer his subconscious mind into Metalhead.

It was early in the morning, Donnie was watching the sunrise. It was beautiful, the blue of the water was lit up with reds and oranges of the sun. He was often alone in the early mornings, sometimes Leo got up early to train and meditate(somethings never change). But not as often as when they were younger because there was no larger enemy to battle, now there was an Oasis. They had no more reason to fight, now they were just living. Being alone allowed him to reflect on a lot of things, like who he was now. He thought about it in his first years of being a robot but he never allowed himself to dwell on it because he and Raph had been too busy trying to survive. Raph was dealing with his inner turmoil over his lost memory and Donnie was there to comfort him. Raph didn’t need to hear his problems about being inorganic. His robot body was extremely durable, he didn’t need to eat or drink. Raph didn’t need to hear him complain about his problems, when he had an easier time of surviving. So why did he feel sad?

Mikey woke up to the sound of metal clanking and knew Donnie must be up. Mikey noticed Donnie leaning against his tree, looking extremely glum as he stared into the sparkling water. It was his favorite spot in the Oasis. Everyone knew it was Donnie’s spot, no one dared go near it. Everyone had their respective favorite spots. Leo's favorite spot was the Hill surrounded by cherry blossoms, he'd sit on the hill and meditate. Raph loved this spot on the mountain nearby and Mira loved this fresh spring at the base of the mountain. Mikey was fond of this meadow filled with wildflowers.

“Hey D how’s it hanging”Mikey greeted cheerfully, sporting a huge happy grin on his face. He had been alone for a few years with only Chompy and Ice cream kitty for companionship. He thought his brothers dead and gone forever, and now the turtle bros are back! He was so happy not to feel alone for once. They should be happy they were together again, so why did Donnie look so glum?

“Oh hey Mikey”Donnie replied, in a dull tone trying to remain emotionless so he didn’t reveal his true feelings. Donnie often bottled up his feelings, he didn’t feel comfortable sharing his feelings with anyone. It’s not like his brothers cared, it wasn’t a huge problem, he was alive that was all that mattered right. So why did something feel missing? like a piece of himself was gone.

“I remember the cool cave with all the crystals you showed me Donnie you were talking about geography”Mikey mentioned suddenly with a jolt of inspiration. Donnie loved talking about sciency stuff, that dude was so smart, a lot of the time nobody knew what he was talking about. Donnie had a habit of talking in big words. Whenever Donnie was talking about his latest experiment or newest invention he got super excited, he got that crazy mad scientist look, with that gleam in his eyes. But today there was none of that usual passion Donnie just seemed to feel dull. Donnie was fascinated by that cave though. And Mikey was right, as soon as Donnie was given a chance to talk brainy his back straightened and his eyes brightened but he didn’t seem completely happy yet.

“Geology”Donnie corrected bored, usually he was patient with Mikey’s slowness. Today though, he was not in a good mood to deal with anything. But talking about earth science might provide a good distraction from his current mood.

“And you were talking about Ignayus, Sentimental, and Metamorph rocks”Mikey continued, he was relieved he actually somewhat remembered whatever sciency stuff Donnie told him. Usually he didn’t have such a good memory and he forgot what someone told him because he was easily distracted and had a short attention span.

“You mean the  **_Igneous, Sedimentary,_ ** and  **_Metamorphic_ ** rock formations”Donnie corrected again but without the irritation he usually displayed when dealing with Mikey’s intellect. He was just tired and he barely noticed Mikey trying to cheer him up. Now he had the chance to rest, he was tired of his time spending all his energy toward survival. Now he was tired of being conflicted, am I organic or inorganic? Am I still a turtle or am I just a robot wannabe turtle? Questions like these slammed inside his brain and whispered self-doubt and insecurities in him.

“So doesn’t the Lavender smell nice?”Mikey asked cheerily, hoping this would help break the ice. Donnie looked so sad, he didn’t want to unintentionally hurt his big brother’s feelings.

Hearing these words, Donnie’s mood turned dark and stormy. The visor that functioned as Donnie’s robot eyes flashed with anger, turning from the radiant bright purple to a dark plum color. The tail ends on his metal head shot straight up in shock. There were bushes of lavender in Donnie’s favorite spot that Donnie was fond of. He found that Lavender had a calming scent except he didn’t have olfactory senses anymore. He couldn’t even freaking smell anymore and everyone here took their senses for granted. It was a miracle he could still feel somewhat, in a weird robot way. It was probably due to his organic subconscious, his brain is used to being able to feel and now his brain is trying to make up for the missing sensual data. Was it even real? Donnie thought, and even if it isn’t...I don’t want it to go away. A biological mind in an inorganic system, confusing and oftentimes difficult to navigate.

“Yeah, I’m sure you think it smells nice”Donnie answered sarcastically, his tone suddenly toxic. How could Mikey be so insensitive? But it was Mikey, Mikey was sometimes cruel without meaning to be. He’d say things that were hurtful and he wouldn’t realize it. Mikey wasn’t very bright, he had childish, immature, naive tendencies. But he had a big heart and an optimistic attitude. He knew Mikey didn’t mean to be cruel but it hurt his mechanical heart. He didn’t even have a heart anymore so it was ok to hurt him right? Though technically the heart is an organ that pumps blood to the rest of the body and the brain is where emotions are.

Mikey frowned in confusion on why Donnie looked so insulted. Was it something he said? His brothers often berated him for being stupid as Raph so kindly put it. Mikey usually missed the obvious but even he could hear Donnie’s tone was laced thickly with bitterness. Then Mikey’s eyes widened as he came to a sudden realization.

“Oh D, oh man I didn’t mean to”Mikey had started to apologize but Donnie held up his hand to stop him from continuing. Donnie didn’t want a false apology, he didn’t want their pity. Mikey was starting to sweat nervously, he felt like he messed up big time.

“It’s fine, just make fun of the robot right?”Donnie answered brokenhearted. Mikey really had no idea how lucky he was. He’d give anything to be a turtle again to feel flesh to have biological systems. “I don’t even have basic olfactory senses anymore but who cares right?”Donnie continued in that same sad, dejected voice, his head drooping and he dropped his arms into his lap. Another reminder of what he had lost when the mutagen bomb went off.

Mikey didn’t know what olfactory meant but it seemed thst Donnie was getting more and more upset. Maybe he should answer Donnie’s questions, but maybe they were rhetoric or was it rhetorical? Mikey concluded that he should probably tell the truth.

“I forgot that you aren’t a turtle anymore, not like us”Mikey said , hoping this might defuse the situation. He just forgot, honest mistake, and he would be forgiven.

“So I'm not a turtle, I don’t belong with you guys anymore?”Donnie cried out in disbelief over Mikey’s harsh words. Once again, Mikey was just sometimes cruel without meaning to be. He was right though Donnie wasn’t like his brothers anymore so what was he?

“Donnie no I didn’t mean it like that”Mikey amended, shaking his head no and waving his hands profusely to indicate that was not what he meant at all. Mikey was full on panicking, he just made the situation worse.

“I’m barely hanging onto a thin thread between robot and a living thing”Donnie informed him bitterly, his tone not betraying the sadness he felt. Mikey didn’t understand what it was like to feel like you are no longer a living thing.

“I don’t have a heart or more accurately a brain so I don’t even have feelings!”Donnie suddenly shouted in this illogical anger he felt. The world was so unfair, taking away one of the things he was sure of would always be there. He thought he had a heart and soul and now that heart and soul belonged to wires and gears. Donnie supposed his angry behavior was irrational but nothing about what he was feeling inside was rational.

“No I'm not saying that, I just said you’re not a turtle anymore like who cares a robot is so cool”Mikey said once again trying to fix his mistakes. D was a dope robot now, he had an awesome metal body, obviously highlighting Metalhead’s awesomeness should defuse the situation. Unfortunately Mikey did not have dumb luck on his side. Donnie was fuming and then he shakily stood up, trembling with rage but mostly he was hurt.

“D?”Mikey said, trembling with regret, was D mad at him? He didn’t mean to make D angry, he was just trying to put a smile on his face. 

Donnie raised his arm toward Mikey’s face preparing to launch the rocket fist. The memory of them before the mutagen bomb training with metalhead and metalhead grabbing Mikey’s face almost brought a smile to his face.

“What are you doing?”Mikey asked nervously, he remembered all the times Metalhead grabbed his face and flung him around. He didn’t really hate it, Metalhead’s fist was soft for a robot but still he didn’t want to be flung around like a rag doll.

Now Donnie regretted what happened but he wasn’t thinking clearly, he wasn’t thinking at all. Donnie shot his rocket fist at Mikey and it grabbed his face. It shot off of Donnie’s arms and slammed into his target. Mikey bore a wide eyed look of surprise when it swept him off ground.

“Woaaaaahh, ahhhhhhhhhhh!”Mikey screamed as he was flailing around in the air as the flying rocket fist zoomed around the oasis. He was flapping his arms wildly as if it would help stop his uncontrollable flight.

Leo and Raph came out of their respective rooms in the Oasis and saw a screaming mikey flying around the Oasis with Donnie’s rocket fist attached to his face. They exchanged looks of apprehension and ran to the owner of the fist.

“Donnie what are you doing? shut it off now!”Leo ordered Donnie sternly, arms folded across his chest. His voice had that I’m the leader tone that they especially Raph hated growing up. When they were separated Donnie would’ve given anything to hear it again, and now he almost missed it.

“Wait just a bit longer I’m enjoying the show”Raph wheezed as he watched Mikey screaming and flailing. Raph was laughing so hard his sides had started hurting. He clutched at his sides and had trouble talking because he was laughing too much. This was hilarious, he vaguely remembered this from when they were teens, it’s not clear but he remembered it enough to laugh at Mikey now. Though Donnie listened to Leo and reattached his rocket fist to his arm while Mikey fell on the soft ground next to them.

“Ow dudes I totally have PTCD from when Metalhead grabbed my face back when we were teens”Mikey groaned and complained as he rubbed his face from where metalhead grabbed him. Mikey was sure that his chin was put up his nose, of course it didn’t really hurt but still.

“PTSD”Donnie corrected as his anger was receding and shame had taken it’s place. He had let his emotions get the better of him, this behavior was more befitting of Raph than him. He tried to apologize to Mikey to tell him he didn’t mean to, he was just emotionally conflicted but his voice failed him. He hung his head and looked down at the ground in shame and guilt.

“What were you thinking? I expected this from Raph not you”Leo scolded him enraged and shocked at such a display of violence. Leo shouldn’t have been lecturing his younger brother right now. Donnie was certainly not a violent turtle, even when he was angry he usually just verbally abused them.

“I lost control”Donnie answered ashamed, what was wrong with him? He certainly wouldn’t have gone physical on Mikey and now he wondered if being a robot had changed for the worse. What happened to the calm and collected turtle he always was? Even with all that had changed his personality had stayed the same. It was this confusion about his humanity that was driving him insane making him act it out it wasn’t like him.

“What’s going on with you Donnie!?”Leo asked in a softer tone, looking at Donnie as if he was a fragile vase. Leo didn’t know what was happening, Donnie was still the same turtle inside if not outside. So what if raging inside that brilliant mind of his? Donnie didn’t like how worried Leo was looking as if Donnie needed to be treated like a child who doesn’t know anybetter.

“You wouldn’t know!”Donnie screamed at them distraught, building a barrier between him and his brothers. At that moment he felt completely and utterly alone. On the outside this place might look like a paradise, but the inhabitants have their problems.


	2. Watery Reflections

Leo had noticed how Donnie was acting lately, moody and depressed. He could find Donnie staring at his reflection in the water than swiping at the water angrily to make it go away. Leo understood how Donnie felt, he too had lost his former body. Leo got mutated into a monster that was only capable of rage and destruction. Even his body reminded him of that, his skin was an ugly pasty gray with bulging green veins reminding him of his double mutation and the mutagen flowing in his blood. His shell was unrecognizable, black as coal and spiky. Mikey did point out that at least he was the tallest turtle now, Donnie used to tower over them all, not that he can grow anymore cause he’s a robot. And most of all, at least Leo was still flesh and blood, he knew what it meant to live. Did Donnie know what it means to live? 

It worried Leo to think they were on the verge of losing their brother. Donnie lost his physical body a while ago and now he was going to lose his heart if he kept going down the road of insecurities and self-doubt. Donnie often tried to be cool, calm, and collected, but on the rare occasion he lost his temper, he could be scary. Leo didn’t see that side of him often it could be even scarier than Raph but Raph liked to threaten to hurt you, Donnie just verbally got angry.  Then Leo thought of all the friends they lost when the mutagen bomb went off, April, Casey...Karai. They hadn't had a chance to talk about them or to mourn them, were they all still hurting?

But now as Leo was observing Donnie, Donnie didn’t seem to be angry, just sad. He seemed to be too exhausted to muster up any rage and was instead shrouded in misery. Leo wasn’t sure how to reach him, someone he didn’t think his words of comfort would be enough. Donnie was probably going to shut them out. He didn’t think Raph understood but Mikey was exceptionally in tune with his emotions. Mikey had an openness and comfortability with his emotions that his brothers didn’t share so maybe he could help their lost brother.

Raph was perplexed at Donnie’s behavior, he didn’t think Donnie was capable of such a feat. But Raph was more confused at why Donnie’s acting this way. Lately Donnie’s been depressed for no reason whatsoever. They were safe, they were no more mutant hunter gangs, no more apocalyptic wasteland wondering when they'd get the next meal or water. They had reunited with their lost brothers and Donnie was complaining. Still, Raph couldn’t pretend he wasn’t worried. Over the years his memory loss haunted him and Donnie always comforted him and was there for him and Donnie never relayed his problems to Raph. He wondered how much his younger brother had been suffering.

Mikey was in his favorite spot in the oasis, a wildflower meadow. As he laid down in the soft bed of grass and flowers he stared at the crystal blue sky. Donnie had gotten angry at him, Donnie never lost control like that. Sure Donnie would get annoyed at him from time to time but he’d only seen him get really mad on rare occasions. Like when Donnie failed to make a cure for Karai, he finally snapped only when he was pushed too hard. Mikey maybe didn’t notice a lot of stuff, but he definitely noticed Donnie acting weird.

Donnie felt shame and guilt at his recent actions. He shouldn’t have let his emotions take hold of him like that. He was the turtle who always listened to his head, his use of logic and reasoning. He was the level-headed one in a crisis. Donnie wasn’t going to sit here and lament, he needed to go apologize to Mikey. That wasn’t just the rational thing to do, it was the right and kind thing to do. He started to walk toward the meadow where Mikey loved to play in. On the way, he passed by the Mountain where Raph and Mira usually hung out in their respective areas. Not that they owned these areas, these areas belonged to nature and wildlife, he supposed they just laid claim to it. Of course one could argue they were wildlife being turtles and meerkat respectively not human. But they were more intelligent than the average animal, having human emotions and intelligence except Mikey didn’t really receive the intelligence. Before he started spiraling into Nerdy scientist land in his head as his brothers put it, He saw Raph talking to Mira at the natural spring.

“I just don’t get that guy, why can’t he act normal?”Raph was venting to Mira about his very complicated younger brother Donnie, Mikey wasn’t complicated at all. “I mean there’s no reason he should be acting this way”Raph continued with seemingly no purpose other than to convince himself he was right.

Raph was pacing back and forth as he talked with Mira who tried to convince him to just lay off. Raph usually wouldn’t care, in fact he might’ve argued he liked worked up Donnie but losing his temper with Mikey was a first.

“Look he’s a robot, how is he supposed to be normal?”Mira answered dubiously thoughtfully tapping her foot on the grass.

Mira had no idea why Raph, Leo, and Mikey possessed an attachment to the machine...like they loved him. There was no room for love in a mutant apocalypse though, family was the only attachments you could barely afford. They perhaps kept him around for his combat skills or technological advancements but she couldn’t explain the way they acted around him...around each other.

Honestly Raph was getting worked up about some family drama for no reason. Not that it mattered, how should she know? The meerkat clan she was a part of was wiped out, she hadn’t known family. She was rather annoyed that he was getting angry over a small problem but tried to remain supportive.

“I guess you’re right”Raph relented with a large sign, sinking to the ground in conflict.

Donnie wasn’t the same Donnie after becoming a robot. He still had his personality but all they cared about was survival. Now with the discovery of the oasis, Donnie’s natural curiosity came back. Everyone, hardened by survival in a desert wasteland, have started to become themselves again.

“I’m not sure feelings can come naturally to a hunk of metal”Mira pointed out with a bored expression as if she wasn’t aware she was doing anything. 

Obviously Donnie wasn’t being considerate causing tension amongst family members. Her old family was gone and Donnie wasn't getting along with his own. He should be trying when he was lucky to have found his long lost brothers. She was sitting on a rock with her hands on the rock holding up her form. She seemed to be barely listening to Raph as he vented to her on how he should handle his brothers. Maybe she didn’t mean what she said? But Donnie wasn’t thinking about that, he was thinking about the fact that Mira thought he was abnormal. She implied that he didn’t really have feelings which wasn’t true, was it? Whatever, he wasn’t going to dwell on this, they could think what they want! He had more important things to do like apologizing to his brother. He spotted Mikey in the meadow picking a  Lobelia cardinalis more commonly known as the cardinal flower. He thought it was rather ridiculous to kill a flower just because it was pretty. Despite it being a plant and not exactly sentient it was still living! Besides he was irrationally afraid that if he plucked a flower from the ground it would never return. Maybe the good luck would run out and the Oasis would die. The Oasis was a miracle of nature, they should respect it and treat it well.

“Hey Mikey about earlier-”Donnie started to apologize, he was still feeling guilty about the rocket fist thing.

That was immature and childish and that was usually Mikey’s job. He reminded himself that he was the older brother, he wasn’t as temperamental as Raph. He wasn’t going to worry them, he was the same Donnie as ever.

“Hey dude, I get it, I was being insensitive, I’m sorry”Mikey kindly interrupted, putting a hand on Donnie’s armored shoulder.

No longer did Mikey feel the warm living sensation of fresh, instead it was just cold, harsh, dead metal. For a second this saddened Mikey but then he brightened cause hey D was still with them. Donnie let out a sign of relief, he was grateful that Mikey was so forgiving. When Donnie breathed, Mikey almost swore he seemed more...alive.

“I’m sorry too for grabbing your face with my rocket fist”Donnie added sheepishly, looking away from Mikey’s face.

A ghost of a smile appeared on Donnie’s face remembering his first metalhead. Mikey noticed this and smiled too, thinking of the memories.

“Nah brah that was fun”Mikey assured him with a cheerful grin.

Donnie was getting bent out of shape for nothing, he was getting nostalgic for the rocket fist. Besides, Donnie was occupied enough without him worrying about Mikey’s feelings. Mikey held his hand up for what he liked to call a ‘heavy metal high three’.

Later in the afternoon Donnie’s brothers went swimming, Leo, Raph, Mikey, and Mira, their meerkat friend all dived in. They were swimming in the crystal clear blue waters of the twinkling lake of starry waters. 

“Booyakasha”Mikey yelled, pumped with adrenaline as he cannonballed headfirst into the lake. 

Raph was trying to tackle Leo and dunk him the water. Leo retaliated by splashing Raph. Mira was lounging in the shallower waters of the lake. Donnie knew that meerkats were desert animals so meerkat’s don’t really know how to swim. Donnie just sat on the edge of the lake and watched as his family laughed and enjoyed each other’s company. Leo noticed that Donnie was looking a bit left out. Donnie wouldn’t admit to that and smiled at them whenever he noticed them looking, Leo thought he smiled it’s kinda harder to tell. But it’s Donnie and they just know Donnie so well.

“Hey Donnie, why don’t you come join us?”Leo asked, waving his hand in invitation. Surely swimming would cheer anyone up right? They were turtles so they had to enjoy swimming. The sewers weren’t really a good place to swim though. He smiled encouragingly at Donnie who seemed to be hesitating. But his question seemed to gain negative reactions, Mira went completely still, Mikey gave him a hard stare, even Raph winced. Leo just looked at them with a confused expression until the realization hit him like a ton of bricks.

“I can’t Leo”Donnie reminded him but he didn’t seem mad, he just smiled sadly.

In his current inorganic state, swimming was something he couldn’t afford. It was unfortunate but true, that’s just the way it was. 

“Why not? oh...”Leo came to the abrupt realization that Donnie cain’t swim or he’d be fried. Leo smacked himself for being stupid and inconsiderate. “Oh darn Donnie, I’m so sorry that was really stupid of me”

Leo looked at Donnie hoping he didn’t seem angry. Donnie didn’t appear to be offended, his expression was blank, his body tense and motionless.

“Stupid? Yeah well it doesn’t matter it’s fine”Donnie assured Leo but he was lying.

He walked away from the lake trying to hide his emotions but putting up a front of coldness. Donnie didn’t want to intrude on their happiness.

“Nice going, Leo”Mikey chastised his older brother with a frown on his face.

This was just what they needed, another reason for Donnie to feel uncomfortable. Mikey wondered how his brothers were so emotionally inept. He knew whatever Donnie was feeling right now, he would probably bottle up his feelings, not trusting anyone with his emotions, not wanting to feel vulnerable. Leo was looking increasingly remorseful when it seemed Donnie was not going to return. Raph just signed and gave Leo a pointed look as if to say Donnie will be Donnie. Mikey glared at Raph as if accusing him of not wanting to make sure Donnie’s alright. Raph shrugged in response, seeming he felt as if Donnie’s outburst wasn’t justified. Mira looked back and forth between them wondering how they could communicate without words.

Donnie then ran off toward the more forested areas where it was just trees and underbrush. It was stupid that Donnie was feeling melancholy for swimming. Before the mutagen bomb they didn’t swim that much because they were busy fighting Shredder and Kraang. Before that they didn’t really leave the sewers and sewer water isn’t exactly healthy and hygenic to swim in. Donnie couldn’t deny how natural it felt when his body was moving through the water though.

Donnie ran off feeling like he could cry, he would probably be in tears if it weren’t for the fact he no longer had tear ducts. He screamed in anguish as a wave of overwhelming feelings crashed over him. He stumbled and fell onto the ground with a loud metallic thud. He looked up to see his reflection staring at him. He tried to look away at his very inorganic face before swiping at the water. He watched his reflection ripple as the small waves cascaded from where his fist collided with the water. He wished he would no longer have to stare at a reflection of himself he didn’t want.


	3. Falling Apart

It was nighttime, the moonlight lit up the trees and the fireflies were coming out glowing like lamps. There was the light of the moon, the shimmer of the stars, and the glow of the fireflies that made a flurry of light upon the Oasis. It lit up Donnie’s robot body and made Donnie smile, internally of course since a mechanical head has limited facial expressions. He stared at the reflection of the moon in the dark but shimmering waters. It was a bright orb that lit the water up though technically the light of the moon is provided by the sun. It never ceased to amaze him how beautiful nature could be. At nighttime the water is warm because in the day the sun heats up the water but water takes a long time to increase and decrease in temperature. He wanted to feel the water on his metal body, no, he couldn’t. Push these irrational thoughts and feelings out of your head Donatello, the water could damage your inner circuitry and cause you to rust that would be plain idiotic! But the twinkling lake of starry waters was calling to him, The stars seemed to make the water shimmer even more. It wouldn’t be a big deal if he dipped his feet in the water, his robot body was incredibly durable, he could probably put his feet in with no damage at all. Donnie lowered his metal feet into the water and let out a sigh of contentment. The sensory data was amazing, the sensation of the warm water lapping over his feet was calming. Before he knew what he was doing he jumped into the water. WHAT AM I DOING!? He panicked, I AM GOING TO FRY ALL MY CIRCUITRY! But the soothing sensation of water on his body seemed to relax him, making him let go of logic and reasoning as he floated on his back thinking how amazing it would be to feel like a turtle again. He suddenly realized his metal body was really heavy and he started flailing. 

“Hey Donnie it’s dinnertime come on”Raph called for his missing younger brother. 

Where was that techno geek anyway? Was Donnie still still skulking about Raph calling him a nerd and a dork? Donnie was probably still mad about Leo asking him to swim when he couldn’t. The genius had to realize he was overreacting, not everyone can do everything, Donnie couldn’t do it as simple as that. 

“OH MY GOD DONNIE WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?”Raph screamed in disbelief.

In a different situation Donnie might’ve made a biting remark about Raph’s high pitched girly shriek but Donnie realized he was in for imminent big brother scolding. Donnie froze and turned toward Raph with a sheepish and embarrassed expression that turned into a smirk. A million sarcastic comments were running through his head. Apparently getting a new body didn’t change his personality. He was still as sarcastic as ever.

“I think it’s pretty clear that I am swimming in the lake, I didn’t realize you had optical impairment”Donnie quipped with a lot of snark and sass in his tone.

Raph rolled his eyes but then realized he was wasting time. He bolted toward where Donnie was trying to float and pulled him out of the water.

“What were you thinking!? Do you realize what could’ve happened you idiot!?”Raph scolded, freaking out over Donnie’s stupid error in judgement.

“Well I could have potentially damaged myself such as internal rusting or fried circuitry don’t underestimate me Raphael”Donnie informed him in an attempt to appear snarky but trying to cover up his disappointment.

Raph cringed internally at the use of his full name. Donnie’s infuriating need to describe everything in excrutiating detail and complete accuracy. Raph had forgotten how annoying Donnie’s OCD was since coming to the Oasis. 

“Then why’d you do it!? I expected this level of dumbness from Mikey not you!”Raph scolded indignantly, crossing his arms and looking at Donnie with his signature scowl. 

Why would Donnie willingly put himself in danger? The thought worried him and nawed at his insides.

“Why do you care?”Donnie asked sadly and bitterly, he wasn’t even mad at Raph. 

Donnie was mad at himself. It was stupid but he just wanted to know what it felt like.

“Because you’re my little brother”Raph answered softly, there was a strange gentleness in his voice. 

Their few years together surviving a desert wasteland brought them closer together. Donnie stood there in shock for a good minute, then his negative feelings came back in full force.

“You wouldn’t understand,”Donnie stated quietly, his eyes looking down at his hands, his very non flesh hands.

It was true none of them would. Leo understood probably more than anyone but Leo was still recovering. Donnie wasn’t going to bother Leo with this now especially if he could fix it on his own. He was perfectly capable, he wasn’t fragile, he could do anything he put his mind to. Use your mind to overcome challenges Master Splinter had always said, the mind is the greatest thing you have but Master Splinter has also said listen to your heart so what should he do?

“Why? Why wouldn’t I understand? Just tell me”Raph demanded with a hint of irritation in his voice. 

Donnie was acting out and something was bothing him. Raph was frustrated that Donnie refused to tell him.

“...It’s none of your business just leave me alone!”Donnie shouted in anger and resentment as he stormed off toward the campfire.

He didn’t want to deal with this drama now, the drama that he caused. As a scientist and a mechanic he knew more than anyone that if there was a problem they needed to fix it, if the engine blew a fuse, or he performed an error in the trial o a scientific experiment, he needed to fix it.

“We’re not done with this conversation”Raph called out after him hating how much he sounded like Leo using his big brother voice. 

Of course Leo didn’t use that voice much anymore since they put their crime fighting behind them, there were just no more enemies to fight. It still came out once in a while whenever Leo was scolding them for something. All of them couldn’t believe how much they missed it. Now here Raph was standing watching Donnie leave him dumbfounded at this internal struggle.

An half an hour later they were all sitting around the fire, all of them silent. Mikey may not be a genius like Donnie but he could sense the tension between them. The bonds between them were like stretching melty cheese on a pizza eventually it breaks. Mikey knew that they were going to break but you can always put cheese back together as if it never happened. Mikey was the optimist of the group , he always believed that good triumphed evil just like in the Comics. Mikey knew they would push past this and fix their breaking bonds.

Leo could sense an unspoken argument between all of them. Even Mikey wasn’t so scatterbrained not to feel it. Leo may not be leading a ninja team against Kraang and Shredder anymore but he was still their leader as well their big brother. He had to be the responsible one and help them deal with whatever struggles they were dealing with. But a selfish part of Leo wanted to stop being responsible. He remembered the conversation he had with April about Karai “April, she’s fun and I’m tired of being the responsible one when do I get to have fun?”Leo had asked her then. And here he was tired of bearing the burden of responsibility and he just wanted to be able to have fun. His brothers came first, they always did and he knew his brothers felt the same way.

Raph stood there with his arms crossed across his chest and his resting angry face. He wanted to punch something, the harsh desert had put ice over his anger. But fire always melts ice and so now his temper returned though he had grown up and it wasn’t as raging as before. Not that he had it completely under control that would be lying. Now he was angry, angry at how unfair the world was, angry at Donnie for not dealing with this, angry at Mikey for being good at feelings, angry at Leo for being freakin perfect and angry at himself for not understanding any of this.

Donnie watched all of them with the intelligent and observant eye he always had. He knew he had caused this awkward silence but he wasn’t going to speak up and end it. He had felt out of place in a family of ninjas, he felt out of place for his intellect and now he felt out of place for not living. Stupid existensial crisis! Raph was the first to break the silence due to his impatience.

“Donnie, you’re going around cramping everyone’s mood”Raph stated in his usual blunt manner.

It was time to end this, they weren’t going to beat around the bush. They were going to get to the bottom of this. No more wet blanket Donnie, Raph needed to pull a big brother move and figure out what was eating at his genius brother.

“Stop it Raph, leave me alone”Donnie pleaded shaking his head from side to side. He was afraid that if he was confronted he would break. But maybe he wanted to talk about it, He wished he could. It’s not like he wanted to be tormented by these thoughts. They haven’t experienced what he exxperienced though they don’t understand what he’s been through. All of them had suffered trauma in some way shape or form. Nobody knew what it was like to lose their humanity though.

“Not until you tell me what’s going on with you”Raph demanded standing up in anger, looking like he was about to blow a fuse. 

Mikey could see Raph’s forehead veins bulging from where he stood. Mikey may have been a little bit scatter brained but he knew emotional tension when he saw it...most of the time. Even if he missed the point sometimes...most of the time. Mikey wasn’t uncomfortable with his feelings and he could see that his brothers didn’t really know theirs. Raph wasn’t even sure why they were arguing.

“Why should I?”Donnie replied, raising a figurative eyebrow toward raph. 

A flare of indignation as he crossed his arms and stared at Raph as if he knew something Raph didn’t which was always the case because Donnie knew basically everything.

“You never acted like this when it was just the two of us”Raph growled, his voice becoming louder and louder as the frustration creeped into his voice. 

His temper, his anger had come back since his memories had come back, it wasn’t quite as blinding as before but it could be just as strong when it concerned protecting his family.

“Yeah well I never had time to think about it when it was just the two of us because I was worried about you”Donnie shot back, venom laced in his words.

Donnie had harbored some resentment toward Raph. Raph had been so conflicted and lost and confused when he couldn’t remember all the things about the past. He remembered his brothers but other stuff like their childhood and Master Splinter eluded him. Donnie had done his best to help and support him and he never confided in Raph because Raph needed his help more than Donnie needed his help.

Leo and Mikey, the eldest and youngest brother exchanged worried glances. All kinds of harbored and hidden resentment was bubbling up to the surface. Leo was wondering if he should get involved. Mikey knew getting involved would only make it worse, they needed to talk. They almost felt as if they were intruding a bit even though they were as much a part of this as their brothers were.

“Think about what?”Raph retorted, almost mocking Donnie. 

The turtle with the big brain who was always thinking, what did he have to think about? Donnie always worried about a lot of things, what worried him this time? He overthinks, overcompensates, what an overachiever. Raph didn’t realize how much he was missing the point.

“That I’m not the real Donatello, I’m just a copy, a crude imitation. I don’t even feel real. It's like I'm not anything anymore. I don’t even know if i’m alive for all we know Donatello died when the mutagen bomb went off! I’m not sure if I have feelings or emotions anymore. My feelings could just be code! I don’t even think I have a heart!”Donnie started letting his emotions get the better of him. 

His hidden feelings started surfacing and pouring out of him like a storm drain. His fears and insecurities, his pain that he wasn’t even sure he had.

“You all think it’s so easy, you all think it’s cool, well it isn’t and if I was smart enough to diffuse the mutagen bomb I wouldn’t even be here with this body. Did you see the looks people gave me when Raph said I was his brother, that I was living? they acted as if he was crazy and out of his mind. It was like a slap to the face but I never complained because I didn’t want to burden you with my silly problems and I was too buddy worrying about you”Donnie was screaming himself raw now all composure forgotten, you could easily see the distress all over him. 

He was starting to get hysterical, crazy, on the verge of a breakdown. He looked so vulnerable and broken. He wanted to curl up into a ball and cry but he continued even though it hurt.

“I don’t even have basic senses; all olfactory senses have been forgotten. My sense of touch is fake, it's just code mere data that the technology in this body has. Do you know how it felt when I woke up after transferring my consciousness into this body staring at my broken body? Nothing about being a robot makes sense! This is all so unfair”Donnie finished, his voice breaking in heartbreak and defeat, merely a hoarse whisper. 

Leo, Raph and Mikey all looked at their brother in shock. They had no idea how much pain Donnie held inside. And they were sad and hurt that Donnie didn't feel like confiding in them because that was what brothers were for. Leo was the oldest and still their leader, he had sacrificed himself so they would live. Leo was supposed to protect his little brothers from pain and comfort them. Raph felt the same way but he felt horribly guilty at never realizing how much burden Donnie had carried when they were out in the desert together. He never asked Donnie if he was ok like Donnie had done from him. How could he let Donnie suffer alone? Mikey felt the closest to his big brother D and he should've realized sooner. Spending nearly three years without his brothers made him realize how much he missed them. And now Donnie was back but they were all different, a bit harder but still the same. Mikey just had to be there for him.

Donnie was well aware he was almost like a child squabbling about how something wasn’t fair. He just felt like falling apart at the seams while his heart ripped into pieces. He always felt a bit different and out of place in his family but never had he felt so completely alienated from them. Like his brothers were on the opposite side of a rift and he was completely alone. Because robots don’t need family, they don’t need love, they didn’t need anything.


	4. No more Love No more Pain

It was the next morning and that dumb lake he took pleasure in no longer made him happy. Tensions were high among them while Mira pleaded with them to try to talk to each other. There was no fixing this, him, this broken machine he was. He was beyond repair like his first metalhead all those years before. He ruined everything, if only he just kept his freaking mouth shut. He really felt at his lowest point. And he felt so detached from his brothers. A feeling he didn’t want to experience. His brothers were everything to him but Donnie wondered if he was everything to his brothers.  
Donnie started walking back to his brothers ‘rooms’ when he felt a sharp stab in his core. Donnie screamed in agony clutching at his mechanical torsos. Was he in pain? No this must have been a malfunction of Metalhead’s sensors. It can’t be real pain yet it feels real, Donnie’s insides felt on fire why is this happening? In a twisted way he was almost...glad for the pain, he just wanted to feel something, anything. He fell to his knees, his visor vision fading in and out. And then it stopped the pain and sadness. Replaced with a feeling of coldness and a sense of detachment. What was his purpose? Why had he been crying over these other mutants? Why had he been so distraught? Why does he wish to make up with them?  
Such frivolous questions with no answers. He obviously had some sort of higher function as a more intelligent being. He scanned his database and found his only purpose was...family. He felt a sudden warmth in his chest before it was extinguished like lighting a match in a blizzard. Were these files memories even? Were they not data but instead feelings? No he had no such purpose, a robot is an artificial intelligence.  
“Human emotion must be eradicated”Donnie said out loud and tried to say it with conviction.  
It sounded heartless and robotic but even then it faltered with skepticism.  
“Love is a weakness”Donnie stated, truly trying to leave these illogical thoughts behind. Why wasn’t it working? He would make it work, logic is the key to survival.  
Mikey dashed around the Oasis wildly. Heh, imagine if that loser in the tortoise and the hare story saw him now. Turtles being slow was a total hurtful stereotype. There he saw Donnie standing under the tree, shadows blocking his face. Mikey’s face brightened at the site of his older brother.  
“Hey Donnie look about yesterday i’m sure Raph didn’t mean it he’s probably still adjusting”Mikey said sucking in a breath between every word.   
Man, running around the entire oasis was really tiring. Donnie’s looking really weird right now, Mikey’s eyes flashed with concern. His breathing became less labored as apprehension dawned on him. Donnie was being rather quiet and he was standing really stiffly.  
“I do not understand the inaccuracy of your statements”Donnie replied, voice devoid of any emotion.   
Completely flat which was strange for Donnie. Ok...this was getting weird and not squirrelnoid weird.  
“No it’s true, no matter what your family”Mikey assures him sincerely.   
Now he was getting suspicious. What is up with everyone lately like what?  
“The term family is not in my database”Donnie informed him stoically, his face completely blank.  
“You’re acting suuuupes weird right now D? Wassup with you? Anything you wanna tell me?”Mikey prodded failing to keep the goofy grin off his face.   
This totally has to be a prank right? What, does Donnie have amnesia or like does he not understand love? Donnie stood there impassively seeming confused with Mikey. The grin fell immediately after Mikey realized it wasn’t a joke, this was real.  
Donnie then walked away leaving Mikey to stand there dumbfounded. Was his brother standing in front of him or was he totally gone. His brother wasn’t there, not really. What was Mikey going to do? Mikey didn’t think anyone knew what they were going to do. Mikey needed to get his brothers, he needed to get them.  
Leo and Raph stood there, the two oldest brothers watched in mild concern as Mikey paced in front of them.  
“So...What did you call us for?”Leo asked in confusion, trying to hide the fact he didn’t want to be here right now.  
Last night was uncomfortable to say the least. He wanted to go and meditate on it. This was one of the times he wished Master Splinter was still here to give them guidance. He missed him so much.  
“Donnie’s acting weird,”Mikey informed them with a worried look on his face.  
Master Splinter was better at reading people than Mikey was. He knew exactly how to navigate a delicate emotional situation. Mikey just didn’t have Splinter’s gift for giving out words of wisdom but he remembered the wisdom Splinter taught them. Mikey was going to use it now if not ever because everyone knew he wasn’t good at paying attention.  
“Wow who knew, it’s Donnie he’s always weird”Raph reminded them scornfully but with an undertone of guilt.  
He wasn’t over yesterday’s events. Those were not something he wanted in a family photo album. A family photo album without Splinter to lead them through the storm. He didn’t remember everything about Splinter but he started remembering some things.  
“No! He’s weird weird I told him you didn’t mean what you said the other day and usually he’d be really skeptical and give me some sarcasm but today he didn’t react at all”Mikey insisted, grabbing Raph by the shoulders cause Leo was too tall for that. Or maybe he should’ve shook Leo because now Raph looked like he was gonna beat Mikey up.  
“Um...how can you even tell? His face doesn't have expressions.”Leo added as a joke but then soon realized that was a mistake.  
Donnie was their brother they knew when something was up and Leo was the oldest so it was his job.  
“Yeah but you just know,”Mikey explained impatiently, showing a rare emotion of frustration and mild anger.   
It was so obvious because it was Donnie. Donnie was their brother and they knew Donnie. After all they’d been through Donnie could read them like a book. Now it was Mikey's turn to have that ability. That, like, totally blew Mikey’s mind.  
“Ok, say something was wrong with Donnie, what do we do about it?”Leo amended, carefully changing the topic. Besides, how did they help Donnie? By saying it was going to be ok? Ever since they lost their childhood innocence and learned of the horrors of the world, they knew it would never be ok, especially for them.  
“We talk to him! give him some brotherly love”Mikey suggested while in reality he had no clue.  
What was he supposed to do? Mikey wasn’t Donnie’s kind of genius and over the years he learned they were genius in their own way. So how could he use it now?  
“And then we all hold hands and sing Kumbaya”Raph deadpanned with a fake sweet voice. Mikey frowned at him while Leo just looked toward the sky like why me? Raph grinned right back in amusement.  
“It’s a good idea to talk to him,”Leo finally concluded.   
it was probably better to settle the tension between them. It was getting infuriating. Why couldn’t it be easy just for once?  
They found Donnie standing next to the shellrazor with a plug attached to his head, they started planning how they would approach this. While he’s still charging they start with the battle plan.  
“Ok Mikey you go and -”Leo started ordering him before Mikey interrupted indignantly.   
Leo facepalmed while Mikey shot him a look. Why must their youngest brother make this more difficult than it has to be?  
“Hey why do I have to do it? You do it, you're the oldest and our leader!!”Mikey protested fiercely.  
Mikey’s too nervous to do it. Apologizing is sooo awkward. Besides, how do you carefully handle such a delicate situation? He’ll admit he’s the one that usually misses stuff so he might make it worse.  
“Right and as your leader I nominate you, you're the best at this.”Leo explained, failing to hide his grin of satisfaction at watching Mikey splutter.  
Leo had always said he would never resort to such immaturity but there is a time especially when it comes to siblings to abandon all maturity.  
“But I’m nervous, Why doesn’t Raph do it? It’s his fault anyway,”Mikey argued waving his hands around in desperation.   
His anxiety levels were rising, he admits he panicked and probably should’ve sucked it up.  
“What? Me?”Raph asked indignantly looking at Leo to make sure Mikey didn’t mean him.  
Leo just shook his head like all you bro. Raph glared back at him, traitor, he’s so going to pound him when they spar in training.  
“Yeah you had to hurt his feelings so you should do it”Mikey reasoned then realized that that was probably rubbing it in Raph’s face a little.  
But Mikey would be the first to admit that he totally deserves it. And enjoyed Raph’s look of surprise when Mikey dared argue with him.  
“That’s exactly why I shouldn’t do it he probably doesn’t want to see me”Raph retorted albeit a little guiltily.  
He hated saying he was wrong but he was wrong to Donnie and kinda mean. But he wasn’t about to give in and lose, he’s way too stubborn for that.  
This ended with a lot of pushing and shoving and name calling. They might’ve drawn their weapons and started a brawl. Eventually they tired themselves out.  
“Hold on...I need...to catch...my…breath”Mikey breathed out as he sat down on the ground with a thump.  
Weren’t they supposed to be doing something? No...his brothers had invoked war on him and he had to win.  
“I won...so you do it”Leo grumbled tiredly standing bending down with his hands on his knees.  
Leave it to his annoying brothers to turn everything into a competition. It was so immature and so unfair to themselves because Leo was obviously going to win. Just because he was a responsible turtle didn’t mean he didn’t want to win.  
“Nobody won!”Raph yelled indignantly, rounding on Leo in a second.  
Oh heck no he’s not going to let their Fearless leader win so easily. They wanted a beatdown? They were going to get a beatdown.  
“Ok let’s all do this together ok?...but you guys go first”Mikey then proposed with a grin on his face.  
They didn’t stand any chance against his nunchaku fury.  
“I ought to beat the green off of you”Raph threatened raising a clenched fist in the air in a threatening motion.  
It brought up memories of him teasing Mikey when they were kids. And it almost brought a smile to his face to think that he was so childish then.  
“Raphael you can’t beat the green off of someone as the color of skin comes from pigments your body makes”Donnie corrected him as he had now finished charging.   
Donnie stood impassively, staring at the scene in front of him with no sign of emotion. Not even exasperation at seeing his brothers in a brawl.  
“GAH no need to sneak up on people like that”Raph berated nearly jumping out of his shell. Donnie’s talent of sneaking up on people improved, it was a skill Master Splinter taught all of them. But then he realized Donnie called him Raphael. He doesn't usually do that, but he does sometimes so maybe it wasn’t all that weird. He just got a weird feeling.  
“I have been programmed with ninja training,”Donnie reminded him in a monotone voice.   
Mikey swore he could hear an undertone of snark and just that air of being a know it all like Donnie. Maybe he wasn’t too far gone.  
“Look Donnie, we're all getting a little worried,”Leo said slowly as if the slightest misstep would break him.  
Leo knew they should put this gently as they could probably drive Donnie off more than they already did. Leo didn’t like to say there were fields he wasn't skilled in but comforting brothers were like minefields that you either make better or worse. Luckily he seems to be doing fine as an older brother but that remains to be seen.  
“Your statement does not compute”Donnie answered but without any annoyance, he just seemed blank.  
Leo doesn’t know what Donnie’s feeling right now. But he plans to find out. None of this intervention of sorts makes any sense to the robot. But he would remain patient.  
“Listen Donnie this has gone too far. Why are you acting like this?”Raph asked, barreling ahead as he always does.   
He’s never been the type to let people down gently. “Look I’m sorry about yesterday but-”  
“I simply deleted everything that made me imperfect and weak”Donnie interrupted.  
These organic beings were simply in his way. He was now what was required of him. He’s highly functional and logical.  
“What are you blabbering about?”Raph asked in disbelief.  
What did Donnie just say? He really wanted to shake the stupid tin can right now but that’s probably not in his best interest. Why did Donnie have to worry him like this? It’s his fault, Raph knows he messed up he just wants to fix it.  
“I am no longer held back by feelings or emotions”Donnie informed them with a blank look that was confused except not exactly.  
As a robot isn’t it important that he was of the highest standard and function. Nobody desires a flawed machine. Leo, Raph, and Mikey seemed even more shocked but what Donnie just said hadn’t been processed yet. And they were at total loss at what to do.  
“What are you talking about? Why?”Mikey finally spoke up but quietly as if he’d been dreading the answer.  
He thinks he knows that Donnie’s not all there. That maybe this thing about having humanity was affecting him more than he thought.  
“No more love, no more pain”Donnie made a sound that almost sounded like breathing as if he was relieved.  
Ignoring his brothers...no his operators gasps and cries of denial, and guilt than sadness, he almost smiled. He’s not completely lifeless yet, the real Donnie was still alive in there. But what if he didn’t want to come back? Why have humanity when it only makes you suffer?


End file.
